??????????? Amy Leitner was a middle aged woman in 2012, ?For God?s sake!? she often added. A creative writing major at the University of Kansas, she had styled her blonde hair in big curls, with an eye on the fifties. Her peers were into skinny jeans and eighties studded leather. She discovered hair curlers and skirts. She stayed on living in Lawrence after her graduation from KU, but she?d moved there from her, until then, lifetime hometown of two thousand residents, just an hour and a half?s drive south, in Chenowa, Kansas. ?It was a matter of some 80 miles geographically speaking, from the halls of Chenowa High School to Lawrence?s Massachusetts Street, but Lawrence might as well have been on the west coast compared to how different the two Kansas towns were.
??????????? Amy had been an actress from her earliest years. She?d started acting at home first, in her family?s kitchen while her mother made spaghetti, then in small roles at the Chenowa First Baptist Church, and these led to a progression of Chenowa School District 258 musicals and plays which set her on a course in the arts and music. A band scholarship for the trombone, ?For God?s sake!? helped pay her way through college. She wrote for the Chenowa High School Monitor and somewhere in her high school career, writing for the Monitor, she?d determined to become a writer, and somewhere after his own graduation from KU, and before Amy was born, Bill Leitner, her dad, had determined she?d attend KU. Bill and Linda Leitner supported their daughter Amy?s performances in plays and musicals and listened to and read her poetry and stories, and supported her decision to major in creative writing, yet they still remained Baptist. While she attended college, her mother wrote her nice letters and mailed her a Hallmark birthday card each year.
??????????? Amy was not what the boys at Chenowa High School called ?hot?. She didn?t resemble, either in dress or attitude, the women in the hip-hop music culture which, inexplicably, was so popular at her small rural school. She was eclectic, for sure, there among her classmates, most of whom she?d grown up with since kindergarten. She wore her own unique style, which mostly meant vintage clothes gleaned from her mothers? saved wardrobes and from a Wal-Mart in a town ten minutes drive from Chenowa.
??????????? She?d known from an early age she?d marry a brown haired man. There had never been any question. She wanted a man with thick curly brown hair she could grab by the handful and run her fingers through. She?d pictured a healthy Pacific Northwestern type man wearing a few days growth of stubble on his chin, a red flannel, pearl snap shirt, and brown carpenter pants. She?d written in her journal about meeting Tyler Reynolds for the first time as she hung about the college?s theater department auditorium after an audition for Tommy: A Rock Opera, a production she?d never heard of before the audition night: ?Met my brawny man tonight!?? He was there as a theater major, a set designer and builder. Sawdust clung on the toes of his leather boots. She was smitten at once.
??????????? Tyler Reynolds was raised in Missouri, just about the same distance away as Chenowa, only east, and in a suburb which most people in Chenowa considered Kansas City. He apparently didn?t appreciate her curled hair and polyester Capri pants, nor her sheer scarves she often wore tied round her neck. In fact, he commented once to her that she looked like she was wearing a costume from Grease. She misunderstood his derision, because her judgment was clouded with infatuation, and instead embraced it as a big compliment, ?I know, right??
??????????? Amy couldn?t quite get Tyler?s attention. She tried flirty eye contact. She tried small talk. She tried being a third hand for him while he built the set. Nothing she tried was successful for her. Of course, being an actress, she immediately connected his indifference toward her with her performances on stage. If he wasn?t noticing her, she surmised, it must be that she did not impress him in her roles. He was too gaga over another actress, a theater major, Robin: The short haired brunette with a connection to Hollywood (her aunt was an artist for the Simpsons) and though her name was Elizabeth Johnson, she insisted people call her Robin. Amy began to think a lot about how she could get Tyler?s attention.
??????????? Unfortunately this is not a story where the girl gets the boy. Amy could not attract and keep Tyler?s attention, and that was that. She performed in various roles for productions with him all four years and admired his profile as he gazed upon Robin. Amy graduated and continued to write her poetry and her stories and eventually, when no one came out of the woodwork at the coffee shop open mic nights to change her life because of the powerful words she?d recited, she took a job teaching theater in a small high school, a lot like her hometown of Chenowa, a short drive from her apartment in Lawrence.
??????????? Her dreams about appearing in the movies were shelved along with all of her journals and notebooks full of stories and poems. She had some friends, of course, in Lawrence; after all she was an outgoing, confident, and intelligent woman. Really, her hang up with that brown haired boy in college had been her only significant character flaw; her one insecurity. She didn?t date, but her Baptist upbringing could be blamed for that. For she still entertained a notion of the different roles a man and a woman were supposed to play when it came to the courting ritual: a man asked a woman on a date after they?d met, they did not meet for the first time in a bar. She found she wasn?t terribly sad, lonely, and depressed without a husband, the way she was sure she?d feel and the way Linda, her mother, believed she must be. Linda still mailed her nice letters and a Hallmark card on her birthday, ?We?re praying God brings you a husband.?
??????????? Amy learned an alumnus of the college planned to film a modern day production of Antigone in Lawrence. There?d been multiple emails sent to her address through the school where she taught theater requesting lots of volunteers to appear in the crowd scenes. She loved Sophocles and Antigone and along with encouraging her students to participate, she kept her calendar open for the three weekends in late March and early April when the filming would take place, as well as the weekend in February when auditions would be held for the role of Antigone and Ismene. Amy planned to give her best audition and get the lead role and finally be at the center of the production and have her face be seen by thousands of people, maybe even Tyler from back in college. This was going to be her opportunity she?d been looking for. Her time was now, and she was ready for it.
??????????? The day of her audition, Amy did something out of character for herself; she wore her shirt with the top two buttons unfastened. She?d never been one to try to work whatever sex appeal she might have possessed, but if it was going to be of any help to her to land the role of Antigone, she?d do it. She felt doubly self-conscious about the two unfastened buttons, because the audition was held in February and it was just plain cold. Here she was, practically topless, she felt, trying to sell her body for a role in a movie. What would her mother think? She knew what her mother would think, and she made a decision to ignore that thought.
??????????? She hadn?t expected so many men and women to show up for the audition. She?d had it in her mind that she might have been one of a few dozen people in Lawrence who liked the play, and that at the most her competition for lead role would be limited to maybe six others. When she arrived and walked into the lobby of the auditorium where the auditions were being held and saw it packed full of what she guessed must have been close to a thousand actors and actresses, she found a corner by a wastebasket and discreetly buttoned one of those buttons she?d left undone. Some of the women there would definitely have an advantage over her if the producers were looking for sex appeal. They were dressed as if for a day on the beach shooting a hip-hip video. Well, that was fine by Amy. She?d have to rely on her years of training and experience as a true thespian in order to get this role, and she felt confident about that. She?d not cheapen herself nor go against what her self-conscious told her was decent after all.
She felt much better about the decision and after registering her name at a table that was set up in the lobby for that purpose, she returned to the waste basket in the corner and practiced her monologue. It was a monologue Antigone gives to Creon about doing what is right, rather than doing what the law says. She had it memorized no problem, and she concentrated on her breathing techniques so as to keep herself calm.
It was a long wait and she eventually began to read a paperback book she?d brought along to pass the time. There was not a real good place to be found for her to write in her journal, so she kept it in her handbag along with a tuna salad sandwich. They called her in sometime after lunch, to the auditorium where no less than six people were seated together in the third row conversing in hushed tones and taking notes. They barely recognized she was there and on stage, and then a woman looked up and told her to state her name and to please begin. Amy did just that and it seemed to her that the group of people there never really paused in their own discussion and paper shuffling, and note taking during her entire two minute performance. She wasn?t entirely sure they?d heard any of it, yet when she?d concluded right away the same woman dismissed her by thanking her for her time and assuring her they?d be making a decision for callbacks by the next Saturday. Rather than walk back out through the rest of the audition hopefuls still in the lobby, she left from an exit at the side of the stage which she was familiar with and led down an empty hall to an exit that came out the side of the building. She went back to her apartment and took a nap.
She waited patiently and forced herself not to get excited all week long in anticipation of the phone call. She didn?t get a phone call. Instead, she received a mass rejection email inviting her to consider participating by being a crowd member in some of the scenes. Well, she?d do it, she thought. So what if she didn?t get the lead role, or any role, that was the nature of the beast. She?d be a crowd member and she?d be the best darn crowd member an audience had ever seen. She?d make sure she stood out some way, so that people would forever recognize Amy Leitner in that crowd, and know she?d been in the movies. If there was any chance Tyler would watch this sometime somewhere, he?d know she was in that movie. She had to make that happen. This might be her only chance.
She attended all the available production dates she?d been sent where a crowd scene would be filmed. They were outdoors scenes on the campus of the university. She?d carefully followed the wardrobe suggestions made by the production team and dressed in warm, red tones. She allowed the make-up artist to inspect her appearance in a rush and was given the approval and sent out to join the others on the side of a hill beside the law building. It was late in April, and warm and pleasant under the sun and cool and breezy at the same time. The others to be in the crowd scene were a friendly crowd and Amy talked with a group of individuals about the experience. The three women had also tried out for Antigone and received the same invitation to participate in the crowd scene. The two guys she talked to had not auditioned for a specific role, but had gotten the go-ahead for crowd member on-site when they showed up in the morning.
Amy wondered how on earth she could distinguish herself from the rest of the crowd during this scene when they were to listen and react to Creon?s sentence for Polynieces? dead body not to be buried. She noticed a big device had been set up for use during filming which she recognized from behind the scenes filming shots. She thought it was called a floating boom. It would go up and around over their heads in a smooth circle for a long pan shot and that gave her an idea which she put to use during filming.
After the weekend filming dates were over she received an email telling about the movie premiere for Antigone at a downtown artsy movie theater in Lawrence. She?d received an invitation to attend because of her participation and her audition. She felt honored to have received it, but kept grounded by reminding herself that all the participants received these invitations, it was not something special for her. Nevertheless, she immediately looked up Tyler Reynolds? last known address. They?d swapped contact information on the set strike night after their shared participation in The Crucible; she as Tituba and he as a set builder. They?d all, all the cast and crew, traded contact information.
??????????? His name and phone number and his parents? address she?d filed under R for Reynolds, but the play program from The Crucible was still in there with all her cast and crews? names, addresses and phone numbers scrawled upon it. Tyler?s was written in the tall, irregular thickness of a big carpenter?s pencil. She sat at her kitchen table and penned him a nice, neutral letter upon some sheets of bank stationary, inviting him to attend the movie premiere on a night in October, just in time to coincide with high schools all across Kansas when they begin reading Antigone in class. She tried not to gush in the letter, or sound desperate for him to come, or to let him know that if only he would come to see the premiere with her and be her date and see her up on the big screen in an actual movie theater in Lawrence, she might then be able to lose these feelings of insecurity she had, and wouldn?t worry anymore about people who might think her a joke. She mailed the letter off and waited patiently to hear from him.
??????????? In the meantime, she checked facebook to find him, and twitter, to no avail. If he was on one of those social media, he was doing so under a different name. Amy reminded everyone on her facebook page to take time to go and see her in the film when it came out for the public. ?You won?t be able to miss me!?
??????????? A week to the day after she?d mailed her letter to Tyler, it was returned to her unopened and undelivered. Amy took it in stride. She thought about maybe drinking some wine and getting drunk, but she didn?t. Instead she continued to write on a story she was writing about an umbrella that was stuck in the back of a closet and was lonely because it missed its soul mate, the rain. But, the umbrella was friendly and its friends in the closet, a partial box of Christmas ornaments were its old friends that comforted it and in the end the umbrella decided to be happy about where it was and who it was with.
??????????? Amy invited her mother to the premiere. She called her the week before the opening. Amy was given two complimentary tickets, so she could only take one of her parents. She decided on her mother easily, without any thoughts of hurting her father?s feelings. If she didn?t invite her mother, her mother would have had hurt feelings, ?For God?s sake!?
??????????? For the premiere, Amy wore a conservative white dress with big disk like buttons on its front and a new red purse. She?d found a pair of white kid gloves she?d sewn on a bit of lace onto to wear that matched her red framed sunglasses with wide lenses. Her mother wore a simple blue dress with a bit of lace around the bottom and the wrists. It was a big crowd of people involved in the arts in one way or another that attended, and their outfits didn?t draw much attention. Amy?s mother smiled and seemed genuinely pleased to be a part of it. People stood in small groups sipping champagne, and soon Amy found a couple of the crowd members she?d stood beside during filming for her mother and her to stand and talk to. Amy was proud that she could be involved in such a thing and to show her mother her neat friends. Her mother didn?t show any disappointment at all, when the friends were female.
??????????? Soon the lobby of the movie theater began to empty and the people in attendance filed into the theater to view the film. Amy and her mother sat near the aisle about two thirds of the way back, which was a compromise for each of them who held different movie theater seating requirements. Luckily, the people in front of Amy and her mother were not tall and they had a good view of the screen. They waited for the lights to dim and for the movie to start.
??????????? Amy had warned her mother that her scenes were very small, but assured her with a grin that her mother would not miss her, she?d be able to see her clearly. Her mother tightened her grip on the handles of her purse on her lap.
??????????? The film was shot well. The director had an eye for cinematic story telling. During the opening sequence Amy leaned to her mother and pointed out some of the places she recognized in and around Lawrence. ?Now, get ready,? she whispered to her mother, as the camera showed a scene of a large, important looking building and a crowd of people swarmed around its steps and a man with quieting the crowd with upraised hands. The camera panned across the crowd moving from down low, looking up at the back of the peoples? heads, up and moving to the right. Right there, when the camera moved along its path to the right, about the time it reached shoulder height; there was Amy. In the background the important looking man was gathering the noisy crowd?s attention with his arms spread. All around her the agitated crowd had their backs to the camera, their attention upon the man on the steps. Their hands gestured and there was much movement as of people pressing for a better view and as of people questioning him audibly. And amidst all this was Amy?s face. Amy stood still among all the movement in the crowd. She alone faced the camera. Her eyes were upturned, and her face clearly followed the camera?s path. Everyone else in the crowd looked the opposite direction, toward the man in Amy?s background, but Amy completely disregarding the rules of staying in character, allowed her face to acknowledge the camera?s presence and to track its course with her face and eyes. It was clear Amy was not supposed to do this during filming. It was so obvious, one might have half expected her to wave and say ?Hi mom!?
??????????? The shot cut away to a close up of the man, Creon. Amy?s mother turned and looked upon her daughter in the seat next to her. Her mother?s mouth was drawn back and those questioning wrinkles on her forehead made shadows in the movie theater light. Her squinted eyes sought an explanation from Amy.
??????????? Amy didn?t notice her mother looking at her. She was smiling a big open mouth smile, and without turning toward her mother she slid her hand across into her mother?s hand and her mother heard her whisper to her, ?There I am mom. Right where I always knew I belonged.?
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Source: http://theottawawritersguild.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/amy-movie-star-2/
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